Self Help Articles and Tools
Below please find a list of articles and tools that can be useful if you want to develop your own interpersonal ombuds skills:
Behavior
All Behavior Makes Sense by Trime Persinger
Sometimes it’s the understanding of others that leads to their understanding of you. Acceptance is possible even without complete understanding and much of that comes from meeting others where they are rather than where you might want them to be. To do so often means being courageous enough to admit when we are wrong and humble enough to be gracious when right.
How Leaders Listen interview with Ronald Heifetz
Good listening comes from curiosity, empathy and an interest in other people which is in complete opposition to self-importance. Feeling important though is also needed for people of have a sense of self-worth. The key lies between wanting to help, but not expecting to know all of the answers.
Why Can’t We All Just Get Along? by Douglas E. Noll, Esq.
Many will recall the plaintive call of Rodney King, the man whose vicious beating by members of the Los Angeles police department was caught on video. Mr. King cried out, “Why can’t we all just get along?” The reason we cannot always get along seems to be based, in part, on our brains.
Communication
Becoming A Fair Fighter: Healthy Resolution of Interpersonal Relationships by Tom Rohrer
Tips on how to to learn to fight/resolve conflicts fairly.
A Credo for Facilitators by Peter Adler
This article presents a statement of philosophy for facilitators.
Rediscovering the Lost Art of Verbal Conversation and Decreasing Your Legal Liability by Bob Gregg
Excerpt from article: "Email creates a permanent record, which verbal conversation does not. The proliferation of electronic conversation is creating a proliferation of liability."
Saying No to Demands by William Ury
This article is an excerpt from the book entitled: Saying No to Demands. It includes some specific key words or phrases you can use in saying No to the other's demand in a way that flows naturally from your Yes, your power, and your respect. Remember that your tone and underlying intent need to be congruent with your words if they are to have the right impact.of removing barriers blocking communication is about replacing them with conduits to provide for the exchanging of information. With this in place, the lines of communication are open to address the underlying needs, interests and concerns of those needing to successfully communicate with each other.
The Top 10 Barriers to Dispute Resolution by Joe Epstein and Susan Epstein
Part of removing barriers blocking communication is about replacing them with conduits to provide for the exchanging of information. With this in place, the lines of communication are open to address the underlying needs, interests and concerns of those needing to successfully communicate with each other.
We Have to Talk: A Step-By-Step Checklist for Difficult Conversations by Judy Ringer
Description: What you have here is a brief synopsis of best practice strategies: a checklist of action items to think about before going into the conversation; some useful concepts to practice during the conversation; and some tips and suggestions to help you’re energy stay focused and flowing, including possible conversational openings
The Value of Listening by Douglas E. Noll, Esq.
We rarely have the experience of being deeply heard by others. Most of the time, others tune out while we speak. When we can listen to others, especially in deep, intractable conflicts, we learn about ourselves and our capacities for positive good. When we are listened too, we feel honest respect and appreciation. Conflict cannot exist in such an environment and harmony flourishes.
Guidelines for Interpersonal Communication from the Ombuds Office at Harvard Medical School. The article provides effective techniques to improve interpersonal interactions.
Crucial Conversations via E-mail? by Ron McMillian. The article advocates who you should never hold a crucial conversation via e-mail.
How to Fix A Family Feud by Al Switzler. Communication tips on how you change a judgemental communication patter.
When You're Under Attack by Emily Moss.What do you do when someone has an attacking style of communication?
Conflict Resolution
Communicating Effectively During Conflict by Lynne Eisaguirre
Realizing that one of the most important conflict resolution skills is listening, the article explores how we can become better at listening in the midst of ongoing conflict.
Calming Techniques by John Ford
This article explores techniques for calming down during stressful situations. The techniques include breathing, mental visualization, meditation, distraction, progressive muscle relaxation, and exercise.
Redefining Conflict Management Systems Options by Blaine Donais
This article explores system options for managing conflict in the non-union workplace. This is intended to build upon the work done by others in this area by seeking to categorize the conflict management options as interest-based, rights-based, power-based or communication-based.
Complexity Science Analysis of Conflict by Deborah Sword
Conflict theory seeks to understand what is happening in a conflict from many perspectives, and to design processes to make the conflict more manageable. Conflict theory assists researchers and practitioners analyze conflict to identify the many parties and their interests, to track or modify changes in conflict intensity over time, and to seek intervention opportunities. Complexity science, the study of nonlinear, complex, dynamic systems, includes conflict and thus aids in conflict analysis. This article, based on my dissertation research that used complexity science to analyze conflict systems, discusses how complexity science aids in identifying who is able to influence the direction of a conflict system, thus deepening any ongoing conflict analysis.
The Six R’s For Changing Minds And Overcoming Resistance by Charles B. Parselle
This article borrows from Howard Gardners book, Changing Minds (2004). In order to get people in conflict to cooperate or collaborate sufficiently to settle or resolve their differences, and perhaps achieve reconciliation, it is necessary that they change their minds.
The Use and Misuse of a Competing Style in Conflict Management by Dale Eilerman
Competition can often play a part in dealing with conflicts and differences, so it’s important to know if healthy competition toward resolving an issue begins becoming more like bullying tactics. The thing to keep in mind is that people should view the competition as being against the problems, not each other, so that they may be hard on the issues and soft with each other.
Once Upon A Conflict: The Journey from Confrontation to Collaboration by Gary Harper
In mediation it’s important when making sense of extremely different perspectives to remember that each person may genuinely sees themselves as the victim. Something to look for here is when each person began to see the other as the villain in order to establish the root conflict which in itself continues to fuel the ongoing conflict. Recognizing the notion that theirs is not the only perspective brings about an awareness of the dynamics of conflict.
The Top 10 Tips on Managing Conflict, Emotional Tension and Anger by Clare Albright
In order to make others feel comfortable around you, it’s essential to know what might upset you so that you can look for, acknowledge and address such things before they have a chance to negatively impact your composure
Courageous Communication by Trime Persinger
Conflict happens when things don't go our way. Our sense of who we are or how we see the world has been challenged in some way. We experience a stress reaction, some kind of negative emotion. We could feel irritated, scared, or even numb. Our world becomes very small-we focus on the event that has provoked us, and are much less aware of other things that may be happening.
Mediation
The Use and Misuse of an Avoiding Style in Conflict Management by Dale Eilerman
The conflict style profiles developed by Kenneth W. Thomas and Ralph H. Kilmann portray "avoiding" as being low in assertiveness and low in cooperativeness. When using this conflict mode a person knows there is a conflict but decides not to deal with it by ignoring, sidestepping, being non-committal or withdrawing from the issue or interaction.
10 Reasons to Mediate video by The U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission
The benefits of Mediation are not only obvious… they’re undeniable. No other conflict resolution process is free and confidential while also offering fairness and neutrality as far as allowing the parties involved an equal say in the process and the outcome without involving litigation. Doing so also saves time, limits the participants to only those essential to the issues and addresses situations before further escalation. Mediation is the only option that can lead to all parties feeling satisfied with the outcome.
What Is Mediation and How Does It Fit Into the Workplace? by Tim Hicks
Unresolved or poorly resolved conflicts can have a negative effect on productivity and morale in the workplace and that’s why mediation is so important in providing clarity on interests, goals, problem solving and building agreements.
Preparing For Your Mediation by Tom Sebok
Mediation can be used to find out what can be done differently in the future, so if you agree to do is all within your control to do so it is more likely that the other person may do the same. The bottom line being that if you demonstrate in mediation that you are unwilling to make any changes, mediation is unlikely to be successful.
Tools
VitalSmarts provides free web seminars and other resources in communication, for example "Crucial Conversations" and "Crucial Confrontations" along with other topics in general management.
Workplace Relationships
Can We Call a Truce? Ten Tips for Negotiating Workplace Conflicts
Whether two employees are fighting or a disgruntled client is on the verge of leaving, youyes, youcan step in and help solve the problem. Here are some tricks of the trade.
Improving Work Relationships by Managed Health Network, Inc.
Being accepting and patient can greatly improve interpersonal communication and lead to resolving issues quickly, informally at the lowest level possible.
Guidelines for Interpersonal Communication by Linda Wilcox, Harvard University
The ability to be a good listener involves acknowledging what’s being said, asking questions, listening reflectively, using silence and avoiding drawing and acting on preconceived conclusions and rash judgments. To do this you must gathering the appropriate information in an impartial and non-judgmental way so as not to seem like an advocate or adversary.
How To Handle Difficult Behavior In The Workplace by Tony Belak
There is no magic pill but there is a prescription to change behavior in others. It takes time and patience to cure such negative characteristics, and it doesn’t help to ignore the problem behavior or respond likewise or criticize rather than cure or just brand someone as a problem and be the psychiatrist to their craziness. We can work to prevent unproductive and negative behavior that leads to conflict.
For more information, please contact the Ombuds Office at ombuds@lanl.gov or at 5-2837 (5-BUDS).
 |
OMBUDS